I'm BACK! Maybe.

It's been a really long time since my last post, as evidenced by the lack of references to Barack Obama, Twilight or Twitter. I honestly don't have a good reason for not posting either, other then boredom. But alas, tens or readers (it's funny because there's no way that many people have seen this blog) I may be making my return to AS. I know how important I am to all of you, and I'm sorry you've had to deal with my absence for so long.

Stay Tuned! (maybe.)

Benji is So Wonderfully Loveable!

I'm not a huge fan of So You Think You Can Dance, but I tuned in during last season--mainly because of Benji, the loveable goofball that ended up winning (no surprise to anyone.)

I didn't get enough last summer so I tuned in once againthis season and he's (thankfully!) returned twice, once to perform his own dance number and the second to choreograph some contestants. After watching both these numbers you'll agree that he's unbelievably talented.

I can't find the one where he performed on YouTube and I don't care enough to really search for it. So you're gonna watch this one and you're gonna LIKE it!

When he choreographed...

I ~Will~ Watch the New Season of "PSYCH"

I love the premise of Psych: Guy pretends to be psychic and gets by using his superpowers of observation. I watched the show--I mean it's no Burn Notice--occasionally last season, but this new promo has me kinda excited (I know, gasp!) about the new season. And yes, the premiere episode aired yesterday and I was too busy making a mix CD featuring Jason Mraz too watch (When was the last time you listened to Wordplay?) but I definitely WILL catch up. Probably.

Here's the Promo:

Remy Ma is Officially Gangsta

Apparently she SHOT some woman in the meatpacking district!!! -Raucous Laughter-

You gotta be kidding me. The police say they're just "looking" for her, but we know what that means. I guess that what black women have to do when their losing popularity--commit felonies. Whatever happened to the sextapes and the perfectly timed pregnancies?

HERE's Her Vid "Conceited". Quite catchy.

Another Black Man Leaves His Baby Mama

[This is news because the black man is famous.]

In a completely shocking and in no way predictable move, Sean "Diddy" Combs has left the Kim Porter, the woman of his three children (that he knows about). Is anyone SURPRISED? Diddy is no different than any other black man--except he's splitting after three kids and not the customary one. I think we should give him credit for lasting this long. We all know he probably gets a$$ thrown at him left and right (to put this in perspective Flavor Flav's old wrinkly butt has, what, 13 kids?) so its not surprising he got tired of his roughly ten-year old relationship.

I wish I had so Crystal I could pour on the ground to commiserate.

Surprise, Surprise, Alberto Gonzales is a Dirty, Rotten Liar

[from the WashingtonPost.com]
As he sought to renew the USA Patriot Act two years ago, Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales assured lawmakers that the FBI had not abused its potent new terrorism-fighting powers. "There has not been one verified case of civil liberties abuse," Gonzales told senators on April 27, 2005.
Six days earlier, the FBI sent Gonzales a copy of a report that said its agents had obtained personal information that they were not entitled to have. It was one of at least half a dozen reports of legal or procedural violations that Gonzales received in the three months before he made his statement to the Senate intelligence committee, according to internal FBI documents released under the Freedom of Information Act.
[End of Excerpt]

I hope Al knows that he is not helping Mexicans in anyway with this story. I am trying so hard to believe all Mexicans are not dirty country-stealing liars who will do anything for a buck but Alberto is making me think twice. Liar.

Have You Been Watching Burn Notice?

If not, WHY NOT? I was drawn to this show a couple weeks ago when USA broadcasted it commercial-free (How could I resist? Though I did have to pee really badly at the end...) and since then I've been hooked. I'm absolutely enamored with Jeffrey Donovan's character and I love the shows mix of comedy and helpful murder advice. And I'm not the only one. So if you haven't checked it out yet, do so--you won't regret it. Remember Flight of the Conchords? Pretty awesome, right? Your doubly welcome. = )

DOES JIM CARREY JUST NOT *WANT* TO SUCCEED AT THE BOX OFFICE?

Don't get me wrong, I love Jim Carrey, even if his overracting is annoying. I knew when The Number 23 came out that it wasn't gonna be a big success (and believe me, it wasn't) but it's like Jim Carrey isn't even trying anymore. I think history has shown us that the only successful Christmas movies are the ones that have some semblence of originality ala Elf of the upcoming Vince Vaughn flick Fred Klaus, but ANOTHER movie about A Christmas Carol? Even Vanessa Williams has made an adaption of this (I saw it on Vh1) and I really don't think we need another one.

Who knows? I did enjoy The Grinch...

I refuse to let the crappiness of Blogger keep me from posting! So onwards! [Unfortunately there probably won't be TITLES to these posts--real ones, anyway--but I'll manage.]

Wow, Blogger is acting real shitty so excuse the current look of the blog. Trying to edit this page is murder. I wanted to post about J.J. Abrams/Cloverfield and Jim Carrey's role in The Christmas Carol but no such luck. Let's hope Blogspot gets their act together. Fuckers.

[UPDATE]
Things are working better now, but I'm unable to type in the "Title" portion of the post = (
Very Upsetting. Lets hope Google uses some of their billions to oil this machine. I won't hold my breath...

Have any of you other bloggers had problems like these? What do you suggest I do?

Avril Had to STEAL the Atrocious Lyrics of Girlfriend???

WOW, that is SAYING something. I have to admit, while I'm far from Avril's biggest fan, "Girlfriend" is incredibly catchy, even if the lyrics are vapid and superficial. To think she couldn't come up with the line, "she's like, so, whatever"??? Really, Avril, REALLY? (I'm starting to sound like Seth and Amy...) This only confirms my deepest suspicions--if the song is really great, it's been done.

Just When You Got Rid of That Rash...

SEX is BACK! Sex in the City, that is. I never real watched the show (Life without HBO is not a life at all...) But the few episodes I've watched have been some mildly entertaining. I probably won't go see the movie. If I wanted to see old private parts I'd watch Basic Instinct (suffice to say, I have no interest in seeing Basic Instinct)

Everyone knows Kim Cattrall is the reason the project was stalled for so long. I guess she got tired of failures like Ice Princess and got back to what she does best: sluttin' it up for HBO.

NEWSFLASH: Guys LOVE to Talk About Themselves

In fact, they love to talk talk at the same rate women do. Are you surprised? I'm not. C'mon--EVERYBODY loves to talk about themselves. For instance, if I ask you, What do you want people to think of you? I bet you could go on a ten minute tangent of how awesome you are. I know I could. I personally like to think I'm being interviewed by Conan...

Raise Your Hand if You're Surprised ScootScoot Got Off

I like to call Scooter Libby "ScootScoot" because let's be honest, if you're using your nickname in your workplace, at least make it something other than "Scooter". Anyway, it's no surprise to anyone that ScootScoot won't be doing jailtime. The Dems are in such a tizzy about it, but be honest, if you were president and one of your friends took the fall for you, would you really have the nerve to end them to prison for their loyalty? That's injustice, plain and simple. It does add another dimension to think that Libby had Cheney's sextape and was gonna release it if he went to jail. (P.S. I am SO sorry for putting that image in your mind.) Al Gore is more or less saying this is the case.

Flight of the Conchords = Best Thing EVER

Have you seen this awesome show on HBO yet? If not, what are you waiting for? It's wonderful. It's random, hilarious, and does, indeed, make sweet, sweet love to your ears. Their stuff is all over YouTube, so take a look. I'd watch their show first, so you know what you're getting into. You're welcome!

P.S. I'm already in love with Bret. You're going down Mel!